All kinds of personalities are interested in finding real connection. Whether you’re quiet, loud, shy, or brave, I bet you appreciate being noticed or understood. We can certainly become selfish in these wishes, but it’s important to understand this is a God-given desire of the heart.
I just want someone to care. Have you ever had this thought? I have. And from a personal perspective, I can also say that feeling like no one will ever understand is a common problem. Having deep conversations, being known, and feeling special are desires that drive my personality. I often feel different, but not in a good way; I may feel like an outcast or like I don’t belong in a crowd. This is usually because my heart and mind are full of thoughts and emotions others have no way of seeing.
It’s all too easy to enter a state of melancholy self-pity. And when I get stuck in myself, it can seem like finding real connection is hopeless.
It has taken me years to finally see that God created me the way He did for a reason. It’s not because He wants me to feel tortured and hopeless, but because He longs to have my heart.
How sin keeps us from finding the real connection we crave
I am very passionate about being forthright with our sin. It’s part of living in repentance. Ever since the beginning of humanity, we feel shame and want to hide because we have sinned (Genesis 3:7-8). It’s something to be conscious of. Why? Because covering up sin leads to more sin, and that’s not what God wants for us!
So, how do we relate this to our desire for deep connection and acceptance? First, we must acknowledge that we are fallen humans looking to other fallen humans to fulfill us. Which honestly doesn’t even make sense, but I find myself falling into it in some form every single day!
Second, we recognize that this quest to find true connection in anything other than God always leads to sin in some form. Constantly looking for acceptance from other humans leads to many sins, including selfish ambition, hostility, and idolatry (Galatians 5:19-20).
I’m preaching to myself when I say, stop looking to people to totally fulfill you. People can love you, but they will never completely meet our craving for deep heart connection. Not even your child. Not even your spouse. At some point in life, even those with which we are the closest will fail us.
What Scripture says about connection with God
GOOD NEWS: We can find the most fulfilling connection imaginable in the Lord! In Psalm 139, the very first verse says:
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
Everything. He knows EVERYTHING about us! Verses 2-4 say:
You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.
After reading this passage, it should be evident how seen and known we truly are by Him.
The best thing about this truth of being fully known and loved by God is that it’s available for reaching out and grabbing at any time. You don’t have to wait on anyone to give you permission. You don’t have to wait on a person to validate you. We all can dive in right now and start reveling in the depths of God’s love, because He delights in showing unfailing love to His people (Micah 7:18).
True connection requires a conscious choice
Maybe something is still screaming inside you to hang on to feelings of self-pity and despair because no one understands. But please remember this: Jesus chose to make us His friends. We also can choose to walk through life in this truth: He is our greatest love and our complete source of connection.
For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. (Romans 5:10-11)
Right now, as I finish out this blog post, I pray that you are filled with great joy. Without Jesus, we are full of sin and failure. But our Father knows our deepest, most inward parts, and through His Son Jesus, we are free to be loved and cherished in the most authentic way possible. Walk in this truth, seek God, and enjoy living life in the real connection you have always longed for!
Did you know that I write about all kinds of things related not just to spiritual life, but to growing our homes and farms?